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No More Tequila For Santa


I used to leave out milk and cookies 

For Santa on Christmas Eve

It’s been years since he stopped by here

But I still believe


So I put out something stronger

In hopes that he’d drop by

A bottle of Jose Cuervo

Now the big guy just ain't right



No more tequila for Santa

He really tied one on

No more tequila for Santa

He's passed out on the lawn

He crashed his sleigh into my Chevrolet

And that just all kinds of wrong

No more tequila for Santa 

Till Christmas day is gone


Now it’s quarter past midnight

And those toys won’t deliver themselves

I put the coffee on, double strong

For my inebriated elf

And you know it's all gonna be all my fault

If christmas doesn’t happen this year

Now santa’s sharing his tequila 

With all eight tiny reindeer



Apologies to all the kids

For the mis-delivered gifts

But you should the viral photographs

Hashtag Drunk santa gifs


He’ll blow an 0.5 in those friendly skies

I hope Rudolph knows the way home.


© 2019            John Cirillo/Michael Gaither

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